Silent Zone
by lumoscrimsom
Summary: Sirius is making Remus twitch. In several ways...


**Disclaimer: **Nothing you recognise in mine. Just clearing that up, there.

**A/N:** Written in the college's silent zone whilst I was supposed to be finishing my personal statement for university -.- It's my second attempt, since I had to drop out of college last year (health! I didn't fail! Lordy, I feel like I need to tattoo that on my forehead :L), but I lost my copy of the one I did then. Probably deleted it or something else stupid, so I'm suffering the consequences of my thoughtless idiocy by…well, by writing you lovelies another Moonfoot (come on, it's cute :3) oneshot. Anyway, this is inspired by some inconsiderate prick in my college's _silent zone_ who was tapping the table with a pen that must have been made of pure lead by the bloody noise it was making. Enjoy!

**Silent Zone**

It was quiet, all but for that incessant, repetitive sound that-

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

Remus twitched, his fingers tightening on his quill, splattering ink across his parchment. He hadn't ruined any work, of course, seeing as he hadn't written anything in the last twenty minutes apart from the title: Explain Which Properties of Magic Disallow Muggle Machines to Work within the Confines of Wizarding Areas. Such an essay might have been easy, had it not been for the length – '_two feet_ explaining _one_ point!' Sirius, who had taken Muggle Studies simply to anger his family, had wailed at the end of class. Their professor had simply looked at him and extended it to three, much to the chagrin of the rest of the class.

Remus, being the good friend that he was, had dragged the whining boy to the library after dinner to get the essay out of the way. In hindsight, it had been a bad idea. Remus should have just let Sirius run off with James and Peter to throw Yorkshire puddings at the Giant Squid, but no. He had had to act all authoritative and motherly (Sirius' term), and make his friend write the essay with him, resulting in a bored Sirius, which lead to-

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

Remus twitched again, this time dropping his quill onto his defaced parchment. It may not have been so bad if Sirius had been tapping out the beat to one of his favourite rock songs, but he wasn't. No, Sirius would never be so merciful as to be annoying in a slightly less annoying manner. Of course not. Instead, he was tapping in time to the second hand on his watch. Remus couldn't concentrate when he was doing that, only hear the _tap, tap, tap_ of the quill nib against the wooden table. He looked at Sirius, trying to stop the tic in his eye and only making it worse in the process. The raven haired boy was slouched in his chair, one arm slung over the back in that overly casual way of his, the other resting on the table and loosely holding onto his quill. His dazed eyes stared down at his empty parchment, occasionally flicking to the watch on his left wrist to see if he was still tapping in time.

"Sirius." Remus said, his voice hoarse from having abstained from speaking in twenty minutes. Sirius continued to _tap, tap, tap_, so Remus cleared his throat and repeated in a clearer voice, "Sirius."

Sirius started violently, snapping out of his boredom-induced stupor, and toppled off his chair, sending his quill his flying. Remus reached out to catch the quill deftly, watching as Sirius rolled with his legs flailing about in the air above the table. When he had successfully righted himself and rehoused his backside on the chair, he gave Remus a lopsided grin, reaching for his quill.

"Made me jump, there, Moony." he commented breezily, as though he hadn't just fallen in the most undignified manner possible to wizard-kind. He reached again for the quill, but Remus was holding it in the hand farthest from Sirius without offering it back to its owner. "Moons, give my quill."

"No." Remus said, his eye twitching even more spasmodically than before.

"Why?" Sirius asked, clearly confused, "Um, Rem...is your eye okay?"

"Perfectly fine." Remus hissed, fully aware that he wasn't exactly looking not crazy right about then.

"Great." Sirius nodded, his smile faltering. He glanced about briefly, as if looking for an escape route, "Moony, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't take your last bar of chocolate, it was Peter! Peter took it!"

Remus merely continued to stare, eye twitching, quill held in a tight fist.

"Oh, dear Merlin, this is how I die, isn't it?" Sirius whimpered, scooting his chair away from the table and from Remus, "I'm going to die by quill in eye socket, aren't I? Awful way to go, really." His expression turned from worried to thoughtful, "Quite undignified, if you think about it. I'd never be able to have an open casket if there's a quill hole in my eye, will I? We can't have that, Moony, my pretty face should be on full display for all those who wish to see it one last time before I am buried beneath mounds of smelly earth."

Remus continued to stare, his eye half closed due to the convulsions in his eye.

"Remus," Sirius said slowly, beginning to look truly worried at this point, "Whatever I've done, I'm sorry. Would you stop staring if I left? If I brought you chocolate? If I supplied you with Honeyduke's Finest for four months? If I got down on my knees and—?"

Remus was still staring, but his eye stopped twitching instantly and his fist released the quill, letting it clatter on the table briefly, the image of Sirius on his knees before him making his whole body stiffen and heat up at the same time. Sirius didn't reach for the quill, though, but gave Remus a relieved smile.

"You've stopped twitching." he said with a happy sigh, "You had me worried there for a moment, Moony. What was wrong? No, actually, what was it that I said that made you stop? I'm a man of my word and to hell if I don't honour my promise."

Remus started to twitch again, the convulsions small and hardly noticeable as fear of Sirius working it out constricted his muscles. Sirius noticed him tense up and began to stroke an imaginary beard as long as Dumbledore's.

"Hmm, you seem tense again." he observed, attempting to sound scholarly but instead coming off as though he had his wand up his arse, "Should I offer to leave again? Bring you back chocolate? Supply you with four months' worth of the stuff? Should I get down on my knees and—?"

Remus stopped twitching again at the image the words painted and let out a low groan. It was almost soundless, a subdued rumble deep in his chest. Remus hoped Sirius hadn't heard it, but by the surprising look dawning on the other boy's face, it was a futile wish. Remus made to gather his stuff and run – no, screw that, just _run_, but Sirius was smiling. Remus felt himself twitch in a more welcome area than his eye at the slow, seductive curl of Sirius' mouth.

"I see." he nodded, his voice practically a purr as he scooted his chair closer to Remus, "I only meant that I'd get down on my knee and beg for your forgiveness, but I think I like your idea more."

Remus made no sound, only able to watch his friend with wide eyes.

"And I never go back on my promises." Sirius finished with an exaggerated wink, moment before he slid off his chair and crawled under the table.

Needless to say, Remus found every available moment from thereinafter to twitch in Sirius' direction.

**A/N2: **Oh em gee guuyys! Ahem, yeah…so, anyone seen that pairing tick box thing when you put the characters on the story description? Does is look any different on the summery, because I looked and it doesn't look like it does :P


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